"...Cleared for take-off... Adios amigos." Well, I couldn't have orchestrated a better example of blurred parenting boundaries if I tried! It was the Today Show lead, as a matter of fact; even an 8.8 earthquake took second billing to the travesty that occurred a few weeks ago in the JFK Airport control tower, when Controller Duffy decided it was cute for his children to instruct pilots on their take-off directives.
It's not that the passengers were in danger, because we all realize that these "adorable children" were parroting their father's commands; rather, it is the hubris and subsequent suspension of authority when it comes to their children, that sometimes envelopes parents who are smitten with the self-esteem bug - or should I say self-esteemia. An 8-year-old should not feel qualified or competent to direct air traffic. Period.
Lenore Skenazy, author of "Free-Range Kids" (both the book and the blog), cautions: "Free Range does not mean free-wheeling. Or God forbid - free-falling."
Let's use this abuse of power as a life lesson. Children are not miniature adults. They are kids. And they need to be playing and learning. They need to find out how to be productive, to feel connected, and to ultimately acquire the skills to navigate on their own. Those are the criteria of youth development, not the job qualifications of an air traffic controller! They sure don't need to be navigating a plane with hundreds of passengers aboard, since they are developmentally incapable of navigating on their own at this age!
What's most alarming, however, is not the lapse in judgment on the part of the air traffic controller-dad, but rather the nonchalant acceptance by the pilot dads and moms, as well as some passenger-parents! "Wish I could bring my kid to work," quipped one. And if he were a surgeon?! Or a patient?!
Here's the point: kids don't want that much power! It is scary for them. They want their parents to be in charge and to guide them on the path toward adulthood. There is no good outcome when parents think they can catapult their children into the world of adults, not to mention down the runway. All they are doing is amusing - and indulging - themselves!
Let them be kids. Let them play. Play is the work of childhood, said Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood fame, a widely acknowledged truth. The work of childhood certainly isn't directing aircraft on one of the busiest runways in the world.
This was a huge breach of "Bring Your Child to Work Day." Let the fallout be a concrete reminder to us as parents that children have to travel the runway to adulthood. There are no cards of "Chance," as in Monopoly, where you pass "Go" and collect $200!
These children could have gone to work with Dad on that designated February day and watched, with utmost respect and awe, as he commanded air traffic. They didn't need to literally walk in his shoes in order to understand what the job entailed. They should learn responsibility and resourcefulness and resilience at summer camp, not in the control tower. And they could aspire to one day earn the capability to sit in his chair.
It wasn't cute. It was a wake-up call to helicopter parents everywhere. Don't let them "fly" or direct others to fly until they are grown up!
I think you are generalizing and overreacting when you say "...children do not want that much power - it's scary for them...". That child was never given any power, he was never at any stage in full control of the air traffic control process, like you said yourself, he was simply mimicking his Dad's instructions. We have to assume that the father used his better judgement and only allowed his child to speak on the microphone during a very routine and standard take-off - a harmless opportunity for his child to experience his father's world, even for the briefest moment and also exposing the child to responsibility.
Starting from when I was around seven years old, my father used to let me sit on his knee while he was driving down quiet rural roads - for years I would simply steer the car because I was too short, and too young, to reach the peddles. As the years passed I mastered the gear stick movements (either as he drove, or while I sat on his knee) and as soon as I was tall enough, I learned how to maneuver the peddles. The day of my 14th birthday I was applying for my learners drivers license and have never looked back. Because my Dad exposed me to so much responsibility, letting me take on whatever I could handle, I am a confident and safe driver now who has never had an accident - this confidence has transmuted into all other areas of my life.
Ironically, my father is a helicopter pilot also, and often let me "take the controls" while he was flying before I was even ten. Had me talking over the microphone and all. He never put me or anyone else in a dangerous situation, just simply allowing me to experience new things in the hope that I would develop great interests and pursue them one day.
Different parenting styles for different people, I guess.
Thanks for a thought provoking article.
Peace and much love
Lara